A MODERN CENSUS GENERAL
[With
acknowledgements to Gilbert & Sullivans Modern Major General
but
even more indebted to Tom Lehrers The Elements parody]
As
performed at the Sea Containers Christmas Cabaret, 1974.
[Click here to see the cast performing - for cast members see below]
[Some of the names are linked to pictures of the individuals. These will be expanded as and when possible. If you are able to provide further pictures, it would be greatly appreciated]
[If you are running sound, you will be able to follow the lyrics with background music - please note that there's a fairly lengthy introduction before the music fits the words]
Theres
Bonny and McTaggart and theres Thomas and Bortoli;
Theres
Brady, Bird and Brewer and theres Thomson and theres Murray;
Theres
Broderick and Watters and theres Brown and Walsh and Buckingham;
Theres
Butler and theres Chase, another Thomas, Ward
and Robinson.
Theres
Coy and Cray and Rayner and theres Daniels and Dabrowski;
Theres
Darton, Gray and Davey and theres Davis and theres Donnelly;
Theres
Ashby, Haynes and Barnes and there is Barnett and theres Barrow,
The
last one I regret to say is leaving us tomorrow.
(The last one we regret to say is leaving us tomorrow
The last one we regret to say is leaving us tomorrow
The
last one we regret to say is leaving us tomorrow)
Theres
Cheetham and Clive-Smith and there is Sommerwill and Coleman;
Theres
Cooper and theres Cooper-Smith and Cornwell and theres Ferriman;
In
marketing, accountancy, control and engineering,
Theyre
always so reliable and quietly persevering.
(In
marketing, accountancy, control and engineering,
Theyre
always so reliable and quietly persevering.)
Theres
Richards and theres Routledge and theres Rochester and Riggs;
Theres
Patterson and Parker, Peck and Picton and theres Wicks.
Theres
Doubleday and Smith and Dragonetti and theres Edney;
Theres
Elliot and Evans, there is one more Smith and Hissey,
Theres
Francis, Burgon, Fruin, there is Galliers and Goodson;
Theres
Gordon, Cornoch, Gornall, there is Gourlay and theres Wilson;
Theres
Ford and there is Forshaw and theres Fox and Fish and
Foster;
Theres
even the original young lady from Gloucester.
(Theres even the original young lady from Gloucester
Theres even the original young lady from Gloucester
Theres
even the original young lady from Gloucester)
Theres
Iishiga and Jackson, there is James and there is Janeck;
Theres
Jordon and theres King and there is Latham and theres Pollock;
In
marketing, accountancy, control and engineering,
Theyre
always so reliable and quietly persevering.
(In
marketing, accountancy, control and engineering,
Theyre
always so reliable and quietly persevering.)
Theres
Henderson and Hesse and theres Hopkins and theres Stephens;
Theres
Hughes and theres IAnson and theres yet another E-evans;
Theres
Touyet and theres Boyle and there is Pascoe and theres Holden;
Theres
Van Pelt and theres Charnock and theres Collins and theres Walton.
Theres
Letts and Leitch and Carville and theres Woodhead and theres Lonergan;
Theres
Marie, Marsh and Couttie and theres Whittam and theres Hartigan;
Theres
Barry and theres Bavin and theres Stedham and Costello,
And
one I will not mention cos I'm such a modest fellow.
(And one more we'll not mention cos hes such a modest fellow.
And one more we'll not mention cos hes such a modest fellow.
And
one more we'll not mention cos hes such a modest fellow.)
Theres
Beresford and Duce and Lavey, Fisher and theres Grundy;
Theres
Haldane and theres Gunn and Turner, Taylor and OGrady,
In
marketing, accountancy, control and engineering,
Theyre
always so reliable and quietly persevering.
(In
marketing, accountancy, control and engineering,
Theyre
always so reliable and quietly persevering.)
Theres
Skelton and Demosthenous and Low and there is Webber,
Theres
Grolle, Swart and Woon and there is Hume and theres McGregor,
McKendrick
and McNicholas and Mennecart and Nellist,
And
Russell, Savva, Witton, Grant and
yet another Nellist.
Theres
Crofton, George and Wheeler and theres Moody and theres Harrison;
Theres
Walder, Moore and Mullen and theres Neale and there is Swainson;
Theres
Pierce and Piers and Schoppmann, there is Ray and there is Purvis,
Our
hats off to these people who are giving such good service.
(Our hats off to these people who are giving such good service
Our hats off to these people who are giving such good service
Our
hats off to these people who are giving such good service)
Theres
Etheridge and Koch and there is Papper and two Shadbolts,
The
last five we rely upon to tighten up the nuts and bolts,
Im
sure there is at least one other Sea Containers member,
And
Id tell you who it is except I simply dont remember.
(Were
sure there is at least one other Sea Containers member,
And
wed tell you who it is except we simply dont remember.)
[Lyrics composed by Joe Sinclair. Song performed by Rob Ward and Andrew Lavey, accompanied in the repetitions by the other members of the cast. The cast (left to right in the photograph) John Witton, Andrew Lavey, Jeanne Stephens, Andrew Evans, Joe Sinclair, Norman Daniels, Rob Ward, Maggie Bortoli, Bernie Bird]