SPOT ON

RISK TAKING

[From the casebook of Doctor Spot, Emeritus Professor of Urinology, University of Yonkers]

[Case #243. Petra Phide. Transcript of tape recording, Monday 8 September, 19—]

PP: [deep sigh]

DS: So, Petra, tell me how you're feeling.

PP: Awful, Doctor. I just don't know how to tell you.

DS: Aah, Petra, you must learn how to communicate your feelings to others. You must allow them to communicate their feelings to you.

PP: But I get so scared.

DS: Exactly. Taking risks is a scary business. But unless you allow yourself to be felt, and let yourself feel others, you will continue to be anxious. You must learn to relax. Anxiety cannot survive where relaxation exists.

PP: So how do I start?

DS: You start by taking a chance, Petra. In fact you can take a lot of chances. In fact you could take nothing but chances.

PP: Doctor, doctor, I'm forty years old. How can I start taking chances now?

DS: It has been said that some people do not have forty years of experience; they have one year of experience forty times. So, imagine you are one year old . . . Who's going to blame a one-year old for taking a chance?

PP: But I can't do it, I can't do it.

DS: Telling yourself you can't do it is the same thing as being unable to do it. Give yourself the choice. Tell yourself you could do it if you wanted to do it. Someone else once said: fear is the gaoler. If you are afraid, you will always choose the most negative option available to you.

PP: I don't understand, what are you telling me to do?

DS: Listen . . . When you leave here I want you to start thinking about your fear. Realise that fear often comes from guilt feelings. Try and recall some occasions when you felt guilty and afraid. Face up to the guilt and the fear. You may find it is a far less uncomfortable experience than you imagine.

PP: Okay. And then . . ?

DS: Then, imagine a situation when your guilt or your fear immobilized you from doing what you really would like to do. And take the risk!

[Case #243. Petra Phide. Transcript of tape recording, Monday 15 September, 19 --]

DS: So, Petra, how are you feeling today?

PP: Fine, doctor, fine. In fact, never better.

DS: And did you take any chances last week?

PP: Well, to tell you the truth, doctor, I decided . . .

DS: Petra, Petra, what are you doing?

PP: I'm taking the risk.

DS: But Petra, you're not supposed to do that . . .

PP: I'm letting you know how I feel. I want to feel how you feel.

DS: But Petra, you're supposed to be the one on the couch, not me.

PP: I've wanted to do this for more than one year. You finally opened me up to myself. You taught me to take chances. I'm so grateful. You feel. . . you feel . . .

DS: Petra, Petra, you mustn't.

PP: Now, Doctor Spot, take the risk. Take a chance or two. Imagine you're one year old.

DS: Petra, no, no . . . aaarrgh . . . aaarrgh . . .

PP: It feels . . . it feels . . .

DS: Aaaaaahhhhh . . .

[The rest of the tape is indecipherable]