SPOT ON

TAKING RESPONSIBILITY

[From the casebook of Dr. Spot, Emeritus Professor of Urinology, University of Yonkers]

[Case #38. May Akulpa. Transcript of tape recording, Tuesday 15 March, 19—]

MA: I hope you can help me, Doctor Spot.

DS: I hope you can help yourself, May.

MA: I don't understand. If I could stop myself feeling guilty I wouldn't need to come here.

DS: But you can, May, you can. In fact you are the only one who can! I can suggest the tools, but you are the one who must use them.

MA: What are these tools?

DS: The first tool, the main tool, is CHOICE. In fact this need be the only tool because, at the end of the day, all the resources I suggest can be boiled down to the issue of choice. You are what you choose to be. You will become what you choose to become. Your's is the unique responsibility.

MA: But how will that stop me feeling guilty?

DS: Your guilt feelings come about because you fail to take responsibility. Since others are perceived as being responsible for your problems, you think there must be something wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with you, just as there is nothing wrong with them. They are OK and you are OK. They just have different maps from you. Do you understand?

MA: No. But I suppose that's OK. Okay?

DS: Hmmmm . . . Look, May, it is easier to blame others than to take responsibility for yourself. On the other hand there is no need to blame yourself or see yourself as guilty when you take responsibility for your actions, your perceived problems, or yourself.

MA: Why do you think I do that?

DS: You see, May, we believe that guilt requires punishment and sometimes we spend a lifetime punishing ourselves for something long past which no longer has any relevance - if, indeed, it ever had. Past events continue to cause pain in the present - even when those events have been resolved.

MA: So what must I do?

DS: Well there is a Zen saying: "Unless we change our direction we are likely to end up where we are headed". Accepting responsibility for the past is a way of taking control over the future.

MA: So what is the answer?

DS: I am not here to offer you answers. As I have already said, I am here to offer you tools whereby you will find your own answers. I will merely suggest that taking responsibility means rejecting the notion of guilt as well as ridding yourself of anxiety. Remember, guilt is merely to anchor yourself in the past; anxiety is to anchor yourself in the future. You must learn to live in the present. Now is the only moment there is.

MA: I think I understand.

DS: Good. Think about it before our next session. And if you find yourself about to access any feeling of guilt, just recall this session and put yourself back into the present where you can take full responsibility.

[Case #38. May Akulpa. Transcript of message on answerphone: Thursday 17 March, 19—]

Hello, Doctor Spot, this is May Akulpa. I'm calling from the West London police station. Could you please call back as soon as possible. The police have taken me into custody for questioning about some crime. They asked me some questions and I refused to answer. I told them I was following your instructions and taking responsibility for the present and that you told me I was not to concern myself with any past events. But they don't believe me. Could you please call and confirm this to them. Please. Quickly, please, as I left a casserole in the oven.