SPOT ON

NO EXPECTATIONS

[From the casebook of Doctor Spot, Emeritus Professor of Urinology, University of Yonkers]

[Case #006. Hope Springs. Transcript of tape recording, Tuesday 11 June, 19—]

HS: Doctor Spot, this is my third session and I don't feel I'm getting anywhere.

DS: Where would you like to get, Hope?

HS: What do you mean?

DS: I mean: if you feel you're getting nowhere, there must be a somewhere you'd like to get. Where is that somewhere?

HS: I don't know. I just know that I come here every time full of expectations and I leave here full of disappointment.

DS: Ah, but you see, Hope, that is the inevitable result of having expectations.

HS: But everyone has to have expectations, doctor. If I didn't have expectations, how would I know what I really want. And if my expectations are not met, then of course I'm going to be disappointed.

DS: But then, you could also have negative expectations. Would you be disappointed if your negative expectations were not fulfilled? Or would you be overjoyed?

HS: I think I would still be disappointed. Because I would have geared myself up to face something which didn't happen.

DS: Exactly!

HS: So what are you telling me to do?

DS: I'm not telling you to do anything, Hope, I am suggesting that you might consider other ways in which you anticipate future events. Anticipation rather than expectation! Better still: don't expect, just experience.

HS: You must explain that, Dr Spot.

DS: It means, simply, that if the end result of expectation is disappointment, and you wish to avoid disappointment, then stop expecting. Just let it happen. Go with the flow.

HS: So you mean it's like che sarà sarà?

DS: No, Hope, that is an expression of fatalism. Or like Dr Pangloss's "All is for the best in this best of all possible worlds". The suggestion being that we are incapable of affecting our own destiny. I am suggesting, on the contrary, anticipation without expectation. Contingency planning without a fatalistic dependency on the outcome. Instead of expecting, try experiencing. Where, previously, you might have said: "This isn't what I expected to happen. How disappointing!" Now you can say: "This is an experience! I am enjoying an experience! I have a whole range of choices open to me for dealing with this experience. What an adventure!!"

[Case #006. Hope Springs. Transcript of telephone call, Tuesday 18 June, 19 --]

DS: Hello.

HS: Doctor Spot?

DS: Yes. Who is this?

HS: Hope Springs here, doctor. Just to tell you that I can't make today's session.

DS: But Hope, you were supposed to be here fifteen minutes ago. Couldn't you have let me know sooner?

HS: You mean you were expecting me to let you know in good time?

DS: Of course.

HS: Well, doctor, you see how expectations lead to disappointment. Try experiencing. . .

DS: I think you fail to understand exactly what I meant when I told you that.

HS: Oh, I don't think so, Dr Spot. I've given it a lot of thought, and you were quite right. I see now how I can help others the way you helped me. And, by the way, please don't expect me to settle your bill. I may do so, and then again I may not. Anticipate without expecting - and be prepared to enjoy the experience.